[SSB#6] Self Sabotage; why we make things difficult for ourselves, and how to fix it.
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Welcome to the 6th edition of my newsletter "Supersonic Business", a fortnightly publication by me, Laura Landmark, with a focus on business growth, value and performance management, in other words, all things that make a business better.
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Blue Sofa, Room with view, Sandnes, Norway, Saturday morning, 28th September 2019 ☀️
"Supersonic Business" is sent from me, a Management Accountant, to other Accountants, Finance Partners, CFO's, CEO's & those that have a leading position in business. The vision for the newsletter to share information, tips and tricks to build healthy, thriving businesses from the 'inside out', it is written from the finance and administration perspective.
I hope you enjoy [SSB#6], write to me on firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any feedback or questions.
Good morning friends
An interesting thing happened a few weeks ago, I figured out that I had been unknowingly holding myself back. Self-sabotaging, or at least diminishing chances of success, in certain interactions, with certain individuals, for certain reasons.
Let me explain. I live and work in Norway, and have done so for over 10 years. I can speak perfectly fine Norwegian but often default to English, since I feel a bit more at home, or at least a bit more myself, in my native language.
Norwegians are seriously great at speaking English, and many like practicing English, so they often encourage me to speak to them in English. Over time this has become a habit. However, I figured with some A / B testing recently that when I send emails to Norwegians I get a MUCH better response if I have written to them in Norweigan (shouldn't really have come as a massive shocker!).
The significant difference was quite a surprise to me and encouraged me to drop the English when I am writing or in meetings with Norwegian prospects, customers or colleagues altogether unless I know them well. This has opened up doors I would not normally have gone through.
It also occurred to me that I might be so bold as to actually publish a video one day in Norwegian, but that might be a step too far!
This has got me to thinking about other ways I might be innocently holding myself back so I dove into this topic of self-sabotage (a word I find quite disturbing), and found it is extremely common.
Often we do it because we are fearful of failure, but even more surprising, we do it as well due to the fear of success. Bizzare! We humans are seriously complex!.
* * *
Is a relaxing commute damaging your productivity?
I would never have imagined this is true. I love going to work on the bus or train, and having a little time to unwind before work. I also don't mind being stuck in traffic jams if I have a good podcast to listen to.
This article reveals a study has shown this is all wrong and no good for us.. I must say I am skeptical, but since the study was carried out by Harvard Business school there must be some truth to it!
Read the full article here
8 ways to stop self-sabotaging success
This article hits the nail on the head where it recognizes three types of self-sabotaging behaviors, namely procrastination, negative self-talk and perfectionism.
My lack of foreign language efforts definitely comes from perfectionist behavior. I feel that people would much rather hear perfect English than my dodgy Norwegian. But by assuming this, I am making a judgment about something for which I actually have no idea.
Behavior pattern disruptions, meaning breaking with the norm, changing the behavior and getting out of our comfort zone, even if it is just a little bit is the key to success. Taking small meaningful steps in the right direction is apparently the way to get over or around any habits that are undermining our results.
The first step is to recognize the behaviors for what they are though, to expose them and then deal with them.
Read the full article here
Stop the self-sabotage
Watch this super inspiring Ted Talk. Debi Silber has a magnetic way of making everyone want to kick those self-sabotaging habits to the curb and blow life wide open. Plus she has the best most toned arms I have ever seen!:-
“Burst through your own comfort zone, where life begins!.” – Debi Silber
Overcome Your Patterns Of Self-Sabotage In Life And Business
We are hard-wired to keep ourselves safe, to stay inside our comfort zone. We are pack animals and doing something bold, amazing or great often involves stepping right outside of our cozy place and leave ourselves wide open
Getting over these boundaries means a lot of inner work and drive. This article has 8 great tips about where to focus when you want to push the envelope further than you ever have before.
Read the full article here
Did you know?
Self-sabotage felt like an icky subject to write about, touchy and sensitive. But we all do it, all the time, without recognizing or admitting it. Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving our goals. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its part of human nature, we are programmed to default to our comfort zone.
Think about the last time you didn't use your time optimally, or when you made excuses about why you couldn't exercise this week, or why you needed or deserved to eat chocolate or drink a coke. We are all masters at 'justifying' our actions, even if they are detrimental. I make very regular excuses to myself about why I cannot use my exercise bike more regularly than I do.
On a more business-related note, do you have a product that needs killing, or an employee problem that needs addressing, or a business plan that isn't quite working, or a website that needs modernizing? But somehow pride, ego or old habits are getting in the way of getting the job done.
Its nothing to be ashamed of, it's just how we are. We will never get rid of self-sabotaging behaviors, but if we can minimize the most damaging ones and confront our largest issues head-on, then we are making headway.
Apparently, the number 1 self-sabotaging behavior at work is diving in headfirst without a plan. We just jump on tasks that pop up without really planning or strategizing on the best way to prioritize the precious hours in the day.
I have shared before my 1,2,3 method. I am using this more and more now. Get a piece of paper at the beginning of the day or week and write
Then identify 1 big task, 2 medium-sized tasks, and 3 smaller tasks, then do that, and only that till the jobs are done, unless there is a very critical reason why not.
Words of wisdom
Books on the bedside table this week.
I took a whole day out last Saturday, made myself a nice space in the garden and read this book from front to back. It gives a really interesting insight into the reasons we are not doing what we are destined to do.
So if you are hiding a budding artist, or suppressing an innovative entrepreneur, read Steven Pressfields "The War of Art", then get out of your own way and share your talents with the world.
Top Tip -
"Do less better"!.
"Imagine if we all focused on getting really good at what we do, then even better still"!
Always end with a thanks!
🙏Thanks to Chantelle for spending time researching my story and publishing an article on CA Story. CA Story is an exciting digital media platform, chronicling the journey of Accountants all over the world with the idea of learning from each other.
In her article, Chantelle captures very well how we at #Mantle empower accountants, both in practice and in industry, to use technology for all its worth to generate more value in the businesses we take care of.
Something to watch
Have a peak at my last video which is all about managing the distractions of the next big shiny object and following things through to their full potential.
This fits in very well with this weeks theme of self-sabotage, as chasing shiny things is a typical example of avoidance, resistance, perfectionism, ie all things that dont lead directly to goal!
Thanks for reading & see you next time
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